Talking Funny

When I first moved here, I went flying into a local convenience store and after quickly skimming the tiny space I asked the clerk where I might find the batteries.

She looked straight at me, then tilted her head to the left and asked, “Batteries or butteries?”

I was happy to clarify, “Batteries.”

She tilted her head to her right and said, “Batteries or butteries?”

Again, I answered, “Batteries.”

She tilted her head to her left and said, “Batteries or butteries?”

This time I got it right. I answered, “Batteries. Electronics. Power. Can’t eat them.” To which she happily put her head back on straight and with a slight nod pointed to the stand where they were hidden in plain view.

This would be the first of many times that I would be misunderstood. I’ve made changes in some of my pronunciations for survival's sake (I got tired of getting a potato when I asked for tomato). I’ve also learned a trick or two…like I never go right into a question or a request when I enter a shop. I always start with a “Hello. It is a beautiful day today” or some such pleasantries. This is for no other reason than to let the person catch up with the fact that I am not a local. Well...and I am pleasant.

I was on the other side of almost that same exchange with my friend’s son last Sunday. It started with, “Are you Clyde or Clive?” and went three head-teetering rounds before I had him spell it. It is Clyde, by the way…in case you were wondering.

It does crack me up that whether it is me that is talking funny or listening funny, the resulting conversation has a corresponding and questioning cock of the head. It is the cultural equalizer and I wonder if it is possible to ask for clarification without the head tilt action in any language, any culture.

Footnote: For those of you who may be wondering what a buttery is, well…it is a local baked good made with, you guessed it…butter. Think of a rich, buttery, flaky croissant. Now pack it down until it is very, very dense and add a bit of salt. That is a buttery. You would hate to ask for a buttery and get a battery…that I can assure you!